2008

My Heart To Your Heart

13 January 2008

First poem in my new home 63 West 8th Street #7 NYC…baby
(Signed in sketchbook)

my heart to your heart
don’t know how really smart we are
but I do know that my heart loves your heart
and I do indeed love making art
and I do indeed love making love with your heart

my heart to your heart
don’t know how really smart we are
but I do know that my heart
loves your heart

and I love making art
and I love making art

and I love making love with your heart
I find it pure art
I find love and art to be really smart

When You Opened The Door

25 February 2008

when you opened the door
so when you open the door
to joy once more
and you open the door
to joy once more

and it looks like fear
but it smells like years

and you call your home
what you did before

and you let the time
begin with tears

and you have opened the doors
of joy once more

and you opened the door

and when youre opened the door
and can see the story
as it is

and I laughed and cried
and those tears that fly
and the tongues are tied
for moments I've tried

and I laughed and tried
to let it die

but the times I try
to open the door to joy once more

and I opened the door
to joy once more

and you believe in what your mother said and the words you say are all that play

and the joy you know it comes and goes
and the tales you tell are the tales that smell

and the sounds you hear
are what you feel

when you play that tune
and you cross that room

and you walk the line
and your tears in time

they trick you still

and make you fill your hearts
with hope

and the boat you row

it goes real slow
and the tide that rolls
it goes real slow

and the hope you seek
it seems that this is
just like that

and the words you say
are all about that

and the joy you seek

slips in the crack
and you water the plants
that bring you back

home

so when you open the door
to joy once more

so when you seek the soul

of what you know
you loose the place of
where to go

and you end up walking alone
you know so well

and the joy you seek

it slips away

We Know Where The Sun Is

23 May 2008

6:19 AM

New York City

we know where the sun is
by looking by following the shadow

we know where the sun is
by following the shadow

watch the birds fly and find the shadow

and find the shadow

watch the birds fly
and find the shadow

I know the angle of the sun
By following the shadows

I find myself my way
By following the shadow

I understand perspective

by following the shadow

I see the pain by following

my patterns

the past is information to understand

the present

the pain is understanding

to create the present

the sun it rises and
tells me about the shadows

the sun shines always with
a shadow

I follow the sun

but always see a shadow

I love the sun

and know my shadow

I follow the sun

and rest in shadow

and reflect

I follow the sun

I reflect in shadow

“ “ sunset

Kinna Kerra

23 June 2008

8:45 PM

Home from Sam Shepard at NY Times with Nancy

Kinna kerra
I'm in a hurry
Inkka herra
Eat some curry

I saw love as a kind of torture
Kinna torture
Kinna love
Kinna herra kinna run for the
Jury

The Only Way I Know

26 June 2008

7:00 PM

the only way I know
is to leave nyc
the only way to make it
is to leave ny city

what do I know
I know how its been if not for my
students I would have left sooner

If it wasn’t for my friends I
would have left sooner
the only thing I know what to do
is to leave nyc

I need the mountains
I need the trees and the breeze
the water running and the wind blowing
in my head

I'm getting closer to dead
a lot sooner than I like

the only thing I need to seem to know
is
I cant tell you how I feel
but I know its quite real
I cant tell you all the
time

I got lovin on my mind

don’t know how to do it
don’t know if I can
but I'm willin to be what I can

I know now I would do it different
than I did when I was 29
a young boy who found love
but did not know how to trust that was it

I can't tell you how I feel
but I know its quite real
I can't tell you all the time
I got lovin' on my mind.

I can tell you how I feel

26 June 2008

7:19 AM

From my black sketch book with napkins from April of 2007 after surgery?
6-26-08
7:19am

I can tell you how I feel
but I know its quite real

I can tell you all the
time

I got lovin' on my mind

Don’t know how to do it
Don’t know if I can

but I'm willin to be what I am

I know now I would do it different
than I did when I was 29

a young boy who found love
but did not know how to
trust that was it

I can tell you how I feel
but I know its quite real

I can tell you all the time
I got lovin' on my mind

Yeah I Can Love

26 June 2008

Yeah I can love
I think
Yeah I can love
I think

Mostly Free

18 July 2008

written after teaching summer intensive and totally spent Washington sq diner- hand written on 4 pages in thin black spiral book

Mostly Free

Mostly free

That’s what I want to be

Mostly free

What is said to me
Mostly free

Kinda nice it seems

Mostly free

I’m sometimes there it seems

When the weight is dropped

When the sirens stop

When the buses stop

From in front of me

When the sellers stop

When the hustlers on 6th avenue stop

Asking me to listen to their DJ CD

When the lady stops cryin' out to you

When the flowers that are

Righty in front of you

When the water somewhere begins to

Sing to you

When the wind you feel finally says hi to you

When the mind slows down

Only to say to you

There's more

Mostly free

That’s what I want to be

Mostly free

Is all that’s meant ot be

When my mom and dad stop saying things to me

And I haven’t spoken in more than 2 weeks it seems

When my brother stops from speaking

Words to me

And I haven't seen him in years it seems

And the way it is

Is not as its been in time

And I'm here and now

With you today

And I'm here and now

Not much else to say

Mostly free

Isn’t that what is here to be.

It Always Been A Song

03 August 2008

Jerry day, 1st Sunday in August

It always been a song It always starts with a song

My memories they begin with a song

Green Tamborine
Melllow yellow

Crimson and Clover over and over

How can I not love tremelo

The heart felt volcals of Linda's (Ronstadt) keeping me
Warm at night.

I can feel September cool mornings once again
Rollin in off the lake here in new London, NH
It always begins with a tune

And Elton and John and George and Paul and Ringo and Keith and mick
and Joni and Blue and Neil
And Van and Bobby of course too
And Bobby D. for it was he
That led me into you

And John, Paul, Jimmy and Robert for the
And for Jon and Yes and Stevie and Traffic
Some of my favorite it's true and
In 1972 it all came to pass the year
I was drivin to do more of it all…
Skippin Hebrew school and dream of Lindsey (at my door? Added 10-12-08) snyder
Getting stoned and Cindy Thal
Who totally had it all.

Dreams were being built right in front of my
Very teenage eyes.

And yes its true it always begins with a tune.

Summer songs I knew them well-

Walk on the Wild Side put me into 10th grade or so
Babs and Jerrys was the place to go
Behind the library fights had no audience.

The train tracks in the daytime and
The smell of weed on my parka.
With a roach in the zipped pocket

I was ready to roll…

10 years after I know we went
but only remember begin behind the stage at
the spectrum puking my guts out and
missin the show

10 yrs after Foghat…

It's Invisible

06 August 2008

4:07 AM

It's Invisible

the words are tangible
my mind is flexable

my time is manageable
when I'm expandable

it's all commendable
when your a fan of all there is

It’s a circus ride
a look inside

the state of grace
of what ever place you are

it's always here
for anyone to fear

and you will know
when its time to go

It’s a funny place
a hidden space
of time and
only you and I know

we have been there before
and will return again

to make it clear that
we will always be here

I wake up now
every night at 4

and turn to you like
never before

I do this not and know
not how I did not
before

I wake up now
each night at 4 to
hear you say
its always ok

I hear you say
much more than this
nut words I don’t hear only

my fear
nut know it well
it wreakes
the smell

yhe once
I learned so long ago

and what of this
and you know it too

we all do
we all do

so tell me once
so I hear the tune

that rang so clear +
made me shake with saddled’ rights of a lonely child

who never got
beyond the smile
and pain

I know it well
I'm here for you

and much to tell
but know that this
is just a beginning now

and more to show
a beginner how

to walk in peace and grace and love
for what we do is all above
and love is all there is to know

walk with me
as we see the
show

as we do the play
and we stay

together today and tomorrow

so I wish you well in
your journey too

and I'll be there to walk
you thru

and know this too for
it takes at least two
to walk this life
of life divine

and I’m stayin here
this time I will

I’ve walked away too much
to tell

that I know much more than this
for staying here can seem
like bliss

and where to be
for God to know
where to find my luck

It will only show
so that is it
and more to know

but wish me well
for it's not only you
that needs it too

and we are one
and we are two

and yours is mine
and all the time

and you and I
love like the stars above

and this is true like
lovers who
have the look
into each other’s eyes and know
It all
a thousand times

the day is long but
sunset brings
the pause at night where
we rest in peace

and this is also true
that what is said
is here for you
and once we know

we all let go +
play here now like its
recess in the park

and never that dark

for that I knew
and I know you too
knew it well

maybe even now you know it too
but remember this
that one is two and never
are you alone to die

and never on
is what it seems

so know this and now +
forever dream

and the times you cried
are forever known in
God's grace
they have a home

to rest and stay but never die
and always used for when it's
dry and we need that too

the water
the dew that
feeds our heart and soul

for more than two
for that is the same as
the oceans drops
a little more
from the dock

and this too is what we do
we cry these tears like
the open sea that rages on
and comes to rest

on the sandy beach at sunset

So what now
have we left to know
but seasons come and seasons go

and love is all there is to
know and love is given
when it’s shown

so where, so ware it well
with our colors shown

and raise your eyes to
a love so kind
a sign that all you’ve done
before is here today to tell you more

and more than this you’ll
begin to know the truth inside

your fellow child that =
cries at night like you
once did and still do

for we were once the same too
and your thoughts tonight
will always be for all of life
an eternity

and the same dream you have today
has been shared before and what you
think will leave this door

and enter into another hearts
and know this too
for ever more

and it’s you and I love
like never before

the more I breathe
I more adore

this precious life that is here
today and the gentleness of
my eyelash that we all have
no matter what we’ve seen
thru eyes of steel or
eyes so near
what we all have is
the love we show

and yes its true
I can do this too

maybe not today but
sometime soon

so wish me well
my cup is full

and rock this boat with
me today and let’s set sail
on a journey too

of miles at sea the ocean blue
and the love that still seems
so unclear to know
is on its way
to some other shore

where we all celebrate
ourselves together

so what now
and is there more

or do I sleep till I
tell you more

so just like that I’ve
shared my life with you
tonight and
wish you dreams that bring
delight

goodnight my love

4:34AM

Salt Shaker

06 August 2008

10:34

and I shook up your
Salt Shaker

and swallowed it somehow
and all the memories
are like why you try

vanished
in by now

and the circles that we play
well

I needed more to start

I found some behind the shed and
began to turn some more
so there I was again looking
into the past

so clear
and isn't it like that

where we get a glimpse
of what happened then
it seems so clear right now

but the pain of learning truths
is always forged with heat

so walk with me again
and we will begin a new

ring
a ring of life
that we step into and maybe

do it righ
and even if we don't
we will have done something right

like walking in the wind
late that summer night

and the mother of the playing cards
has vanished
it quite seems

from when I wake up in the morning
I don't have the script or scenes.

and do what one will is
all I ever need

for life today is beautiful
if you let go of the game

a new one I am always looking for
a new one to walk with me
a new day upon us
a new play to dream
a new friend
a new beat
a time I haven't known
an open book an open heart
that does't judge my ways
I have always wanted this
and needed it somehow

but where to go and look around
left me in sorrow

but now I know it’s always here
at my feet and loves me

till I’m gone- the silence of
my breath I know takes me
as I am

so today we start again and
let it be like this
for when the tables turn

I watch it go around and
land where it will

doesn’t matter anymore

for I know this well
right now that it could
be both heaven and hell.

listen to me good
listen to me well

I’m with you every step
and wish you only well

and trust in this and you will
know

the fields they listen too
and the trees and grass and water
they are all in tune

and the weather it always knows
which way to blow

just like Jesus said
I'll take you there
just follow me and we will know the truth as it is told

it's older than all of us
and rises to the top

and sits up there proud like that
like sittin' on a rock

so listen to me
listen well
I wish you only good

the troubles that you feel right now are hidden
in your head and
letting them out
to us
is the only way a head

and do this now
and live at peace
is what I say to you today and

do this
with a heavy heart
and you will find some bliss

and heaven knows
you are full of love
and much more to give

so do with this and do with that
and join us if you will
so troubles from the past
will blow like Daffodills

and when the seasons' change
again like today it feels
like that

althought August 6th
I'm already in the fall

and I could tell you more
but I know better now

that all I dream it’s a slow
slow ride to find
a better place

but patience is a virtue
we know
we hear that all the time

but try and live it
is always harder from inside

I let you down
once before
I’m sure I’ll do it again

this is my humanness and I can do that very well

much more than that
is not what I'm prepared to tell

my ways and means
selfish at times
are paved with fear I know

but travel down this thought
this path
and you will find you know
that doing more sometimes
is hard and difficult to score

so put away your playing cards and
talley sheet with it too
for we are living proof that
natures not keeping score

so stop the days of wishing more
of you and me and him and others
that you think of too

for they are also proof
and kind
as you think you are

the judgement is always there
to watch over you and me with dispair

and I once told you this and
told you so many times like that

what you give is equal to
what you get

drop your shell
drop your face that you wear so well
and walk with God

and walk it proud
for you’ve got nothing left to tell
that isn’t true

that is not
quite for you

we have all known this
from the start

but boy oh boy
have we been told what’s not true

A Simple Song Is All I Know

06 August 2008

a simple song is all I know

I try to tell the tune and

Walk with grace and

Show my face as it truly

Is to you for what

We hide will kill us too and

Make you sick inside and

We can see it as it is

Its you that ‘s clueless

To.

So walk the streets naked as

You can and you will I know

The veil you wear is deeper

Than the lace you walk

With too

And the scars you hide

So deep inside are telling more

To you that they will heal

And if you feel please let

Them show

For love like this is

Always ready to heal what hurts

Us so..

It's Never Now: SEAN

06 August 2008

ITS NEVER NOW: SEAN

Let me see

It can be open, this book

To a new kind of dawn

If you can be open to a new

Kind of dawn

For what you know it has all been told

To another friend

They bought it cheap an its always on the mend

They bought it cheap and can’t be fixed

Let me see

If this can be another day of yesterdays

That just go on

And replay the song that ends so sad

But you thought you had it bad

Didn’t know it could get much worse

But today we all know now

How much worse it got

But perhaps your happy now

for all is past

I always worried bout you

Didn’t know quite what ot do.

It was you and joe and mike and forrest and auger an most of use did not make

it thru

but you

I spoke to you today

Didn’t have much to say

Just like yesterday

So Listen To The Rain

06 August 2008

so listen to the rain it

tells us of a truth

that follows gravity and knows

not more than that it

waters all we like with and

marks the place

so still

that what we feel is

all that’s real and don’t let

the others tell

that this is not the truth

and have them walk in your shoes

I had this dream

So long ago and you were there

With me

We walked along the

Trail of trees and wheat you think we

See

But others gathered in a circle

Listening to each tell the truth

In open air in open sky with

Nothing to hide.

Sitting still is what’s in order

Breathe this in

And take your time and

Capture what you well

For what you need is always here

Just you that finds a hole

To walk into and hide your

Head and let it fill with

Pain------

You know that only

Cause that’s how they played the game

But you were given more today

To play a different kind

That’s full of love, joy and hope

And doesn’t judge the art

And if you will

Ill tell you more

Like when its time to

Tally the score.

Sometimes You Throw It In

06 August 2008

And sometimes you throw it in
You never think you’ll win
You dropped out just before
You gave it a chance to even the score
Cause you always were told its not goin a be the way you would see
So sometimes you throw it in
Never think you’ll win

So sometimes you throw it in
Just before you win

But never in your time where you
Supported to try to make it to the
Top
Cause daddy never did
And he made it seem that
It was the way it’s suppose to be
To not even try
Cause you never and
Then you’ll die

Sometimes you just throw it in
Can’t seem to win

Never thought to even try
Cause you’ll go home and just cry

Reprise:
You just throw it in
Cant seem to win
Never thought to try
Go home and cry

Trouble Had Followed Me

06 August 2008

Trouble had followed me

Endlessly …..and I can never see

that its not suppose to be this way

Fall down to my knees and ask you please

To take away this disease

Of troubled fears that haunt my memories

That play so loud and long and near

Oh wise one take me to a better place

Than this

Where dolphins swim and singers sing and writers write

And stars they a light and

Mountains peak and rivers flow

And wouldn’t you know its

A better place than what I know..

Trouble Had Followed Me (2)

06 August 2008

Trouble had followed me

Endlessly …..and I can never see

that its not suppose to be this way

Fall down to my knees and ask you please

To take away this disease

Of troubled fears that haunt my memories

That play so loud and long and near

Oh wise one take me to a better place

Than this

Where dolphins swim and singers sing and writers write

And stars they a light and

Mountains peak and rivers flow

And wouldn’t you know its

A better place than what I know..

A man needs a home
A home is what

To begin and end each day
In solitute and safety
In quiet and in times that
Jargle the mind

A man needs a home
To put up his feet to rest the
Times that keep him up late at night
To keep away from things
That make for bad mistakes

To shut away the pace of
Too many human face

To sotp the noise outside and build up
His side

To strengthen his attitude

To others sometimes ignored

She’s on the outside and
Your on the in

Shes all the thinks about
And I’m watchin in

He’s well read
Much more than i
Hes never had to say:
“I don’t know that”
but instead has lessons to
teach you
their the masters
of someones destiny
and glad it aint me
their the masters
of someones destiny
and I m so glad it aint me

been written before time
before men drank wine
before the winds blew in
and you could’nt tell time /rhyme

their the masters of
their own destiny
their the masters of
someones destiny and
ims sure glad it aint me

a kind of destiny that

tells of sand and sea
of witches and bees
of sailors and seas
of brooms and weeds
of wood and trees

a kind of destiny
that breathes of long mysteries
that tell you a tale
they cant finish the tale

and when it begins you think to yourself
this was written in a time
when man made his own destiny
but sure glad it aint me
a kind of destiny

that wasn’t made for me
a kind of destiny that
destroys people like you and me

the boat is a shore
and many a poor boy
will tell you a tale or
two fisherman that sail
and leave behind wives
that stay home inside and
wait for their man
with little to gain
xcept the four legged man
who sits with a chain
tied to the bed
all inside someones head
rather be dead

but you were not wise
to have such an appetite
for destruction and lies
to speak of the night
you landed inside and
made love to
a wife of another at
sea who could not let you
be unseen.

And then you get home and
You think shes alone
But not how it be

While you were at sea
The four legged dog was with
You in mind but while
You were gone.

Another boy came and
Made your wife may ?

Feel like she could stay and feel like
A queen or
The battle of men
Of the battle of men
Who leave their wives home
And seem to do right

When only at night
They are fancy in flight
With another mans wife
While you are at home
Seem to do right
But you wake at night
Full of fear and of fright
Theat the boy who went sail
For some of his own piece of
Tail
Was doin thing right
But found out the night
He comes home with the
Smell of Mary and
Hell

It ain’t nice right now
But ill tell you somehow
It all seems so right
To let things work out tonight
The way it will be
So thank you and me

And when nature seems
Right I can sleep thru
The night

And know all is well
And only to tell of the ways that we see
And the ways that we be
Thru adversity and our minds
Let us be with what is today

And nature seems right
So I sleep thru the night
And only is then what
The dewdrops will tell
When I wake to the smell
Of the evenings rain that
Washed away any pain
Of you on mind and what’s goin
On inside the 4 walls of our home
Is now all alone
With nature in time
To tell you and me
All is ok and will be
The way it will be
For you and for me
The way it will be.

Walk Into Thin Water

06 August 2008

walk into thin water

I will know when you

Drop a signal down

A note a symbol now

Of the way to go

Of the way to show

Walk with me and we can both see

If you ever need

More than me.

Walk with me an let it be

The way the dial oges ot

Sway in time the way.

It sways on a dime

Its about time oyu let down

Your head and let go of

The turpentine

The rope you hold

To bong

The glass

The smoke

That keeps you from all of us

This is the real bust

That you always wanted to stop you now

Before you kill yourself

I know you think you want to

But I am sure right now

That is not so true

What you really want is to just

Be you

What you really want

Is to just be you

This you cannot do …today

Maybe tomorrow

Welll see….

Maybe tomorrow

If it be

Can you even try to let us help.

And llove you now- before

Hyou die- before you cry

Yourself to sleep another day

Its ok today to be a mess

Its ok today to be a mess..

Can You Tell Me

08 August 2008

4:18 AM

can you tell me
I’m a stranger who gets bought up when I’m old
can you tell me I’m in danger of loosing a friend
can you tell me
if you could now
that the compass points to another place
untold

can the times now tick backwards
to a time that is gone
and the harbor that contained
that has been left a shore
if I could tell you
the truth now I would lie
like before
and the wisdom that I carry
with me
would be cast away like the morning of a fall day in the rain
and the sometimes glimpse of love
in my eyes never more

so just show me like you have
so many times before
so just show me like you have
so many times before

that what you have for me is
a nice walk to your door
and that I wish you all the best now and well with your store

and I wish you all well now
all the best with your store.

Daytime Is For Night Owls

08 August 2008

Day time is for night owls
And nighttime I’m not here
I’m always dreaming of something
Iv’e got sneakers in my bed

That always want to run….

I’ve got triathalons that haunt me
When I’m trying to rest
I’ve got rainbows to run to
I’ve got miles to cross
I’ve sot roads to uncover
And I’ve not started
Just yet.

I’ve got mountains to climb
I’ve got paintings not stretched
I’ve got numbers to call
I’ve got lunches to eat
I’ve got pages to write and I’ve not
Really started at all

I’ve got neighbors I’ve got
Mailmen I’ve got newspapers to read

REPEAT:
“I’ve got letters and postcards I’ve got girlfriends to write
I’ve got you and I’ve got
This and I’ve got that
To withdrawal
There’s always something that I got to do

But manage to procrastinate it all”
REPEAT

I’ve got dreams I’ve got times
That I want to share.

I’ve got dreams in my mind
Can’t seem to find
The right words to say
So I’ll keep it together
For just another day
And hope and wish that together
We can write this song of
Things to do.

Let It Turn

08 August 2008

(Written UPON THE APATMENT That I did not get)- bathtub

Come with me
Let the cobwebs be
They’ll be there when we return
Let the wood age
Let the bronze turn

Let the walls burn awy the pain

Let the sunshine burn upon me
And the ice turn into rain
Let your mind go and
The chance you might know
Something different than before

Let your own signs of decay
Form as you find a new day
Let your heart race
Let the day make what it will

Let the stocks raise or fall
Let your skin fall
Let your eyes well
With compassion for all

For we are the same as we were before
Fore we are the same now
Like we have been before

Let the stars shine
Let the mooon glow
Let the wind blow
Your troubles free
Let the seasons come upon us.
Let them sink into your pores

Let the city dwell upon us
Like the seagulls that gather at dawn
Let the lightposts do their duty at
The morning go to sleep.

Le the rain fall like seasons
Before and laws upon us some more

Let the dreams once in your eyes now
Drift into the places that dreams go.

And so trust now that these dreams
Are forever held in trust and
That now you can let go and live your life like you will
And the girl you once dreamed of
Has become your next door neighbor
And the job that you have now
Is what you always dreamed of
And the people you work with
On this journey will bring you
Love

If you open to the dream now
It has always been at your door
So just walk there and offer
So bread and some cheer
And the love you always
Wanted has been on your shoulder
And never in your dark hour
Have you ever thought of this
For the demons you carry
Are now only a ready to
Be washed away with the first bell at your door

So make a home for you to go
And make it what you will
A peaceful place of kindness and love baths that bring you peace.

Sorrow I Have Known

08 August 2008

SORROW I HAVE KNOWN

Let your sorrow that you keep so close
That you covet and nurse that you water to grow
Let your sorrow that you love
So much more than the joy
Let the sorrow that you know well
Become a distant friend that you visit for only a short call
And why not trust today that
Someday it wil be gone
And why not trust today
That someday it is gone

And your good stuff that you bring
Each day to your friends and students
Will be stronger that your pain

And you always get what you give
so know this and join the play

a place to enjoy and
watch and participate
welcome home!

I watch steps that walk
In front of me
Become fantasies of what I know
And whats sad now is that I know
That delusions are my best friend

And what’s sad now is that my flights of fancy are driving me home
Is it me is it you are we a victim of these truths

I make up stories of the people
That I see become reality

I make up stories of these
People become real
And make my day- I believe
It so true now
Its delusion my friend too
Its delusion my friend too

Hes a godo boy well intentioined
And a genius of the new
He’s a good boy well intentioned
And a smart one too
He’s a good boy
Well intentioned and
I know you would love him too
So marissa and bridget and Natalie and chloe
And all the others that I see
I believbe my own fantasy

Call it delusion I think it a bit
Step buti I find some kind of peace
In my dreams that will never be

He’s a good boy well intentioned
But hey say is not here
He’s a good boy well intentioned
But they say he’s not here

Its not easy to walk these streets
And not dream of you and me
Ist not easy to walk these streets
And not dream of you and me

Just tell me that I’m the only one who sees it like this

Then visit me sometimes in
Belleveue and I’ll believe

Organize something that oyu can
Follow up with
I find it hard to do
Not always for sure
But sometimes --- seems too much a chore
Organize something that you can
Follow up with
I find it hard to do

Not always but sometimes

Seems like a chore

Can You See

20 September 2008

Saturday fri and max after new persona
End of black 5 Star Mead Book: 9-22/23-08

can you see
can you see
can you talk to me
can you be
can you see
can you see
can you talk to me
can you be

can it be
can it be
like ti was today
for all to see
can you see
can you see
can you talk to me
to be free
can you see
what you hide
will always kill you inside

Fun While It Lasted

22 September 2008

Funny how this all works

Thank you for

The time we have

Almost my last day

Had all I had

Fun while it lasted

Fun while it lasted.

I Can't Tell You Where I've Been

22 September 2008

From black 5 Star Mead Book: 9-22-9-23-08
*Monday mailed board package today: fuck yeah

I cant tell you where ive been.

But it s dark

It's dark

Not so hard

To know this

Not so hard to believe

This is so.

I can't tell you where I've been

But it's dark.

I can't tell you where I've Been

Really quite a sin

Been like a sin Been in sin

Been sin cere

Sincerely dark

No spark

Dark without light

Into some kind of night

Full of a freak show in

Full flight

I Left My Heart Inside My Head

22 September 2008

I left my heart inside my

Head

Some people they are so secure

In their insecurity

I hear the pain

Oozing from their pores

I hear the skin open and scream out

Hey you fuck shit- what are you

Doing to all those around you

I feel so much pain from this

Woman who just wants to hurt and

Cause others pain--- why why

So much pain

I'm A Well Wisher

23 September 2008

5:10 AM

I’m a well wisher
My well is deep but sometimes dry
Lets go to the river and see if
We can try
To fill it and bring it back to
the home by the river
Cause what you do now will come back
To another when your not around.

REPRiSE:
I’m a well wisher
My well is deep but sometimes dry
Lets go to the river and see if
We can try
To fill it and bring it back to
The home by the river
Cause what you do now will come back
To another when your not around.

IM A WELL WISHER

NEVER DROPPED A BUCKET
TO SEE IF I HAD ANY WATER.

I Am Becoming Today

30 September 2008

4:35 pm

5.
my dream today with lomi Hawaiin tradition…goes on and on
wrote a few pages on my dreams

went to strand books and used gift from rahid and bought songwriting books
I am becoming today

Those That Hold You

30 September 2008

7:01 am

Book 3 archive: Grey 5 star mead 9-20-08-10-15-08

1.
7:01 am 9-30-08

those that hold you
they embellish you.
Those that let you fall.
Thank them all.
Hard to tell (know) who to call
Those that hold you
They embellish you + all that you are.
Those that let you fall.
We thank them all.
For is it those that we learn the most.
For is it those to thank for the
Call
To who we are + could be To who we can be?

And The Fear That You Have Today

30 September 2008

4.
and the fear that you have today.
Is it more than yesterday.
And the fear you have today
Where does it sit. Anyway

Some tell me “ here” Some tell me “here” Some tell me. “near” Some tell me “I don’t know”

And so I shake + I rock + I roll
And so I shake + I rock + I roll

Where do you think it came from
This shake rock + roll
This shake rock + roll
I was told I was scared to
do what I was told.

So I said fuck you-
I am going to do this anyway

Fuck you.
For never hearing me
Listening to me-
When I was old.
When I was young.
When I feel stunned.
By your ignorance.

Take hold of your responsibility
Take hold + say it was so
So I can move on + do as I
Can.
In this short life time or
Beats.

I Can Tell It In Your Voice

30 September 2008

I can tell it in your voice
Don’t need to say a word

I want to believe that what you say is true.
But today what I hear is something
Quite new
So you tell me another tale
And it’s me who reminds you
We’ve all been there
And it’s you that will say-
Oh haven’t done that before

Been 3-4 weeks since I been to deliliah’s
And it’s me who keeps track of
The way that your mind works
And it’s me that keeps track
Of what your disease I on attack
And your mother she still will
Spin you in to a world.

And your brothers are crazy and
You find it funny
But me I’m the one who’s crazy
For trying to convince you
Or anything
So you cant keep it straight
Your lies and your fate
The tapes that you play.
Same as yesterday
But its you who will day
Oh “ today I’m ok”

c. 2008

I'm Trying To Come To Peace With Reality

30 September 2008

3.
im trying to come ot peace with reality
to accept what is.
365 x 48 years=

im the father to me and my students
that never was to me

I spoke up and didn’t lay down.

I spoke up but wasn’t heard

Acting
Modeling
Artist
Therapy is.
“ processing loss”
trust my tenacity that has always been there.

Rosh Hashannah Today

30 September 2008

2.
Rosh Hashannah today

so walk with god today + everyday
on this holy day- walk with god
and know he is one
walk with god and know we are one.
Walk with god and know all is right
With the day + night
With the starts + light
With your mom + dad
With our home + work
With your toes + arm
With your head + leg
With the day that is

+ what will be.<br>

So walk with god today

So walk with god and know peace.

That is here + now + with you

You Can't Keep It Straight

30 September 2008

9-30-08 maybe before ….sean
revised 10-3-08 with sony recordings

you can t keep it straight

your lies and your tapes

what are your rules.
You see a certain truth
And tell me your cool
You cant keep it straight
Your lies and your fate
You tell me something new
Tomorrows a dream

Where Would I Be Without These Thoughts

01 October 2008

12:37 am

6.
where would I be without these thoughts.
Where would I be without
These thoughts?

Would I be happy.
Do I want to be.
Would I be
Do I want to be.

You Can't Keep It Straight (2)

03 October 2008

7.
you can t keep it straight
you got your lies that you make
no you cant keep it straight
from the lies that you make.
From the games that you play.

Its just a game to you now
Weve all seen how

It can kill us in a day
Like no other way.
So you like like you know
Its ok not to show

And we put your brother to rest
Much to early like the rest

And here we are today.
Like we have a chance
To live in peace at last

So you cant keep it straight
Let your lies tell your fate
Let your lies that you create
So you cant keep it straight

Got a chance to walk away
Join the human race.

Can I Just Be True To Yourself

04 October 2008

9:50:27 pm

Can I just b true to yourself
No body else
Nobody else
Can u just be true to yourself
Nobody else
Nobody else
Nobody else
Can't u just b true to yourself
Nobody else

Can u just try and lie to yourself like everybody else
Like everybody else
Can u just try and lie to yourself
Like everybody else
Like everybody else

Can u hide behind your own created lies
And die a bit more inside
Like everybody else
Like everybody else
Like everybody else

My Time Hasn't Come

04 October 2008

Subject: My time of hasn't come
Date: Sat, 4 Oct 2008 21:18:16 -0400

My time of hasn't come
It hasn't come
B limin of I said I was kind a dumb
Kind a dumb
My time it hasn't come
To neither one to neither one of us
My time it hasn't come
I'm fellon dumb
Kind a dumb

Started With Keisha I Couldn't Remember

05 October 2008

3:15 am

8. 10-5-08: 3:15 AM
STARTED WITH KEISHA I COULD’NT REMEMBER…

Gene Upshaw

Keisha miso me small who’s missin Gene Upshaw
It’s for you then its been years since I
Played mud football.

I’m really not that small. Who’s call
I want 700 billion $ loan or maybe just $700,000
I’ll take $70,000 for a bit.
Well maybe $7000 then I could buy
That guitar I really want

How bout $70.00 I would by a really great
Sushi dinner or can anyone just give me
$7.00 tonight.

I’m tryin to be alright.

So I get it. Forget it ill just
Use what I got.

Keisha me small who’s callin.
Gene Upshaw
Keisha recall you all
When will the dam fall. Catch the

Windfall of who’s involved in the takeover and
The makeover the sand storm the shower
The corrugated power. I ve never been
Told who’s got the gold. I’m always
Feelin a bit old when im involved with
The school of hard knocks. I stopped
Knockin….but have I really –

What seems to be my passion for pain when it
Comes to being hired…I just seem
To get fired.
I’m always lookin for approval when I just
Want to quit.

Did I say so or am I just wanting to know
That I am loved.

Keisha me small who’s missin gene Upshaw
Been told im old but not really
Outsold too much for me to talk
Ill just go home @ belly ache.

Who’s tall when you want to call when the
Thrill is gone. When your body’s worn
When they all go home + your
All alone-
Who’s home who’s been known-

Sand stones, dinosaurs, flying saucers, helicopters
Wristbands I’m one in the stands. I listen
Hard I listen often I always see
Whos talkin.

Got this bug inside always want to hide.
Got this chip on my side wont let me
Hide. Got an achin heart an achin
Smart that wont let me sleep.
Tonight.

Been told some, been told nothin’
Been sittin for many a year doin nothin’
Been wantin to be heard since

I was old

Can You Hear Me Knockin

05 October 2008

3:27 am

9.
can you hear me knockin Johnny been
longer than you want to know
someone else always steels the show
don’t you know

turn it over another leaf turn the
season. For good reason.
Live long enough + you will know
All the reason you got old.
Keep breathin. Without reason.

Let them in all ways…tell another story
And watch the ratings rise

Tell me some more lies + watch them really rise.

What If I told you I had trouble tellin’
Those lies would you judge me
For being wise?

What if I told you I did this a long time ago
What if I told you I was here long before
The war.

Long before my tour.

So Sit With That

05 October 2008

3:45 am

10.

so sit with that + I ve told you a lot
but not mlore than whats to come

there more at the door. So come on inside +
make yourself comfortable . stay a while

and you will know something more im sure.

Don’t be late for your own birthday. Today
Like everything that your heart is beating?

Thank you god for this day another day to
Say what I haven’t got…. This I will try
Not.

How To Move

06 October 2008

12:00 pm

musicians future @ public theater 12 noon

11.
count on me and the days will pass
count on the wind to ride you thru

count on the change in your pocket to
last

Count on time to listen to you

Count on the weather to tell you what to do

Count on the train to stop and pick you up
If you need a ride

Count on me to not quite be there
all the time

Count on the day to begin + end
Count on something that you know

Count on the twilight to shine somewhere
You will see

Count on you count on me

Count on the desert to be
what you know it to be
count on me

Count on something other than this
count on

Count I two three
Count 1 two three

stop for a while
and listen to the wind blow

you

What If I Told You

05 October 2008

what if I told you

I was here long before

the everglades

the dinosaurs

the wailing wall

the ice age

the Victorian shades

the renaissance

the greek columns

the roman empire.

The statue of liberty

the eiffel tower

the English channel

the pyramids

the model t

the symphony.

The tide box

the metal clock

the wooden boat

the stuff you smoke

the winded bird

the story is very old.

The scissors

the wheel

the moon landing

the road I'm standing on.

The seashell

the place called hell

the sunrise
the sunset
the games we play

on the internet.

The baseball game,

the pill

the Days of thunder

the rolling stone.

The simple wonders of the world

the Taliban

the heated wand

the rotisserie

The lamborghini

the fettucine

the mazel tov

The wink

the hid + sink

The everglades

the ace of spades

The music box

the locness

The tried + true

the blue.

The alphabet

the net.

The blocks we play.

The dance, the twist

The morning mist.

The weight

The wall, the times you'd call.

The punch drunk,

the trip,

the godfather

The myth,

Jacob, Daniel, Moses, Nefertitti, Julius,

Billy Shakespeare,

the golden years

The jeffersons,

the beavers,

The believers

the moth, the red cloth,

The honeymooners, the beatles,

The over achievers.

The times, the journal, the morning, the night

The first flight.

The temperature, the wind, the rapids, the sins,

The infidelity,

the promise,

the note,

The after glow,

the measure,

the Wave,

the title of the slave,

The artist,

the writer,

the poet,

the thought

The love we all never got

Nothing I Want

06 October 2008

12.
the fall the weather the leaves the colors
the scent the air the breeze the trees
the voices the timing the sea the way that you can be.

Thank the days for moving on like the wind
Thank you for leaving me when you do

Leave more often and you’ll be free
Leave daily and the picture will become clear.
Leave left better unsung.
Leave every drop for your friends.
Leave a bit of your blood on me.
Leave it all behind so you can begin again.
Leave me alone + I will be locked in to
Nothing I want.

There's Still Time

06 October 2008

2:29 PM

COUNTRY SLOW Peddle steel

13.
There’s still time

About the dreams I left behind
Get on my pony + ride
Till the sun sets behind-

Don’t look back
Cant hide the days gone by
But I ll leave this town
Ive been livin in
And return to my very soul

I will leave this bottomless pit of sorrow
And ride till the sun sets my mind /behind?.

Theres still time.
To see the dreams I left behind

Today-
I know its true
That for me + you its still true.
My aging body still walks
The same it always did.
My boots they are a bit more torn
And my back it’s a little more sore.
My memory is a failin harder
But I always thought it the same
Too many drugs/ in the orange 70’s
Or was it always just the same.

Oh theres still time

To see the dreams – I left behind

My rear view mirror
Has gotten a bit damaged
By the others on the road
By the weather ive endured
And the truckers on my side.
By the haunted words of sarcasm
By my father before he died.
By my brother rest his soul
Couldn’t let me live my life
By my wife + 4 children
For they always loved me so.
Carried a place of peace

And the government schools I worked in.
The politics of the goal.

And I walk away with some kind of freedom.
That buries my tainted home.
The words they don’t seem so hurtful
Till you got enough they fill
The hole.
They doont know for what they say
But someday may feel it back

The way its been given always hurts
More than the attack!

Bridge

So theres still time
To paint my picture
Of freedom + the like.
The blue sky its gettin darker
Almost as dark as the night
And I’ll ride into the sunset
Of my daughters + my wife.
They’ll be peace on every smile +
Heart ache on every soul

For its bitter + sweet at the same time.

Summers gone + im cold as ice.

Oh the clouds there ‘ rollin in now
Gettin’ dark + windy too.

Ill get inside before too long now +
Thank my lucky stars-

That the road ive taken has been
Paved with what Is right
Always doin what im told-
Its gotten pretty old.

So now when I die from-
This day forward-

Ill keep my pistol by my side cause
The last few years on this trail have
Been some rough ones
Ive been more honest than a cowboy
Who needs food for is 4 legged ride.

And its then that I can sleep
Well.

And return my saddle home
Pass it on to another
And pack it up for
All time.

(not sure if this continues or is another one?)

and the road to the misty mountain
is paved with some kind of honesty
and the roads we walk everyday seem.
Coated with some kind of slickery
Those that do the skinning are weak
But never admit
That the pain of their childhood was
At the core of the liquid mix
And the setting of the hardner is
Always faster than it says.

And the road that paves the nation is
Layered by bad intentions from our
Government that hides its head
Beneath the golden sand.
If we don’t see what weve done
Then its all gonna wash into the sea
And “knowone will ever know” boy that its you
Or if its me.

I stand by my brother’s keeper + keep my word
To me that what I know is better
Left for another im told. But I must keep
My mouth closed cause my own can suffer too
And its not just me to suffer its my
Children + family

So the road to misty mountain
Looks fine + bright as snow
But you + I we know
The road its slippery.
And the road to misty mountain
Though paved with some kind of honesty.
Hard to tell now. When it got
Tainted by the cowboy or the
Ranger or the sea by the lawyer or
The developer or the postman or the
Senate.

So put your sunglasses on now
Cause yo cant tell if
Your gonna see from
The uv rays now. That
Will burn your eyes out or
The devil or you friend
Or the light years gone by or
The wimper (whisper?) of your son
So be honest as you can boy.

Just until your day is done.

And then others as they ride by
Can say- “ he meant his word before
He run”.

So god help me.

I'm Just A Cowboy In An Urban Bureaucracy

07 October 2008

3:06 pm

Im just a cowboy in an urban bureaucracy- (NOT SURE IF THIS IS THE TITLE OR THE NEXT ONE?)

14. Tuesday October 7 2008 3:06

So god help me.
Im just a cowboy in an urban bureaucracy

Im 150 pounds now been never much more
Than that

Was 117 when I was lost boy.

Had some time roamin round bout that
Looked for fun inside the bottle
For love. Never to be found

Had my priorities a little shattered
Like pieces of a broken plate of glass.
They were everywhere + couldn’t be
Repaired just left to hurt
Another
And if you can understand it’s a long story.
Much more than that.

It started when I was younger + left
To roam around.

The green grass, the dirt, the mud the horseshoe
The stick it held I began to be
A pop star at all sports we had
All the girls they loved me too-
And my friends they all around.

The broken dreams at night couldn’t say a word.
I knew. Thried + tried all the time
But wept at times alone.

Did my day job just fine though
All thought I was good
And for most part

I too was honest bout the way things
Seemed alright
Thought it was me that had to fix it
And me that didn’t see
It was me that had to deal
It was me that hurt inside
It was me that was wrong about it
And was me that never knew.

There as others that were responsible
But never was it said.
I just thought I had to fix it
Never had the tools or lessons
Or how to use them
Just a boy about
5 years old
so when you say
oh come on now.
Your just complainin all the time

When you gonna grow up.
And stop bein so thin . your mind.
And the skin you wear it just that
Ive been telling you since you were young
Your just too sensitive to everyone
And need to grow some thickness
Too
So buckle up your sorrow
and shut down your feelings
too so.

Find it hard now to
See how I could have survived
Without the smoke.

I bet you too will agree there
Wasn’t much left for me.
And so you put your feet in my
Shoes

And take a walk around that!

Just a boy listenin to his momma.
Or daddy or brother too

Miracle ive survived it

To tell this story to you.

So much more here to say.
All been said sometime before

So im lost a lonely cowboy-
Just a boy inside a mans body.
A shy + sad boy who never
Was listened to
Just a boy who did the best he could
Looked like I was ok
But boy that wasn’t
True!

So I write to get this all out
Try + write to save my soul.

Try to write was wasn’t right now
And some kind of healin come about
So I write what wasn’t right now
Some kind of healin
Come about

Than you lord jesus alright
On yom kippur.

A turn around.
A new day is dawning a new
Year where non of
us know will lead us out!

So that misty mountain of freedom
Sits there
Just waitin for me to climb
And I know youll be there also
Waitin for me to arrive

And well have a toast to freedom
And a toast to pride
That sat in a bottle next to my side
While I was alive.

Never knew how to open just to
Run + run + hide.

Live this life for tomorrow-
Another life I’ll get it
Right.

But today I wake with
Sorrow
That I’ll do it different this time.
And trust me now ill
Believe that
And sleep quietly
On the land.

Call In Your Army's Your Troops To See Us Thru

08 October 2008

9:11 am

FROM IPHONE needs more
Subject: Call in your army’s your troops to see us thru
Date: Wed, 8 Oct 2008 09:11:54 -0400

Call in your army’s, your troops to see us thru

Call in your army’s your troops to see us thru Call on your mommy to make you cookies too Call all your friends that you have walked away from Call your g-d that walks every day with you You will need all you do this time

Call in your army’s your troops to see us thru Call on your mommy to make you cookies too Call all your friends that you have walked away from Call your g-d that walks every day with you

You will need all you do this time You will need all you do this time You will need all you do this time

Return to your early cartoons and preach your Hero’s Walk with your dog to the railroad tracks where you smoked your first joints and jump in the mud playing football on Saturday all day long Fill and paste your walls with images of your heroes.

A Star Man

08 October 2008

10:05 pm

17. 10:05 PM

a star man somewhere in side of me

a star man a leader a seeker a walk with me believer a night bird a star man somewhere in side

Row Row Row Your Boat

08 October 2009

16. Row row row your boat Gently down the stream

Nobody told me which way to turn For this life was tough for me

I didn’t get a paddle either Or a boat or canoe Just sent into the forest to meet One or two,

With no guidance or support I was left To write a plan

I watched and waited till time was right To make + take my stand

A breath A breath A beat A sign that you will stay Here until its time to go

A breath A sign A slight turn of the eye A beat a note a strangeness is A float

I Don't Worry Bout A Job

10 October 2008

wrtiten after thinking bout sean and mike

I don’t worry bout a job I got \one Don’t worry bout a job or two

Don’t worry about a job I got one It s not me not me it s you

Don’t worry bout the jobs you fought once Don’t worry bout the boss or you

Don’t worry bout the job you lost once Aint commmin back its true

Been drinking all night I see now No wonder can’t get there too

Don’t worry bout the job I got one Not sure how long Ill be there too

Don’t worry bout the job I got one Don’t worry bout me it s you

Saw you at the bar this morning Saw you there last night or two Saw you singin’ to miss who ever Who tells you what you want and do

Listen you do to the story that speaks so loud and true Wonder how long you go on like this Believing your fables too

There all lined up at Stockwell’s And your home drinking still Get on your pony and get there

Don’t worry bout the job You lost once Your boss is wonderin’ too You left your mind in the placemat Where the eggs were scrambled too You left the waitress plenty For her to tell customers tomorrow

You missed all this when you were sober Didn’t last more than a night or two

Don’t worry but me I got one Spent too many days lookin’ for you too Don’t worry but me today It not me not me Its you

Gonna write your grand finale Gonnn write a song or two Gonna smile among the dark ones That you spent most of your time with too

Gonna list the goals you had once Gonna make it clear to you

Gonna catch up with some old friends That told you once or two You are full of talent and wisdom Make it nice for me and you Tell the stories you lived to all of us And let some healing happen for you

Don’t worry bout this song I got one More of that on hand

Don’t worry bout me in turmoil Been lookin down that one Years and years by now

Really Thinking

10 October 2008

Sean: once again

Im really thinking that its time to roll
The coffee maker is broken
The copier is broken
The tolite is broken got that fixed
Thie copier is broken
The passpost camera is broken
The camera and batteries leaked and destroyed the camera

There is a thing about plastic bottles… don’t heat them up
“I just did that last night”
When you drink water the plastic is melted

So I m really thinking about leaving for India
Want to sell me house and home
Really thinking about selling my house
Really thinking about

Do You Ask Of Me Of What I Do For You

11 October 2008

6:00 pm

Date: October 11, 2008 6:00:41 PM EDT
From: robertrabinovitz@gmail.com
Subject: Do u ask of me of what I do for you

Do u ask of me of what I do for you
Do I ask of u of what u do for me

Can I ask of you of what you do for me
Did you ask of me what we do for you

Do u ask of you what you did for we
Do u ask of me what is liberty

Do you ask of me what is liberty
Do you think we’ll see beyond self pity

Do you think of me when you look to see Did the words you say make you feel upset

Do the words today run around your head all day long

Know That From Now On You Are One With All

11 October 2008

6:00 pm

Date: October 11, 2008 6:00:28 PM EDT
From: robertrabinovitz@gmail.com
Subject: Know that from now on you are one with all

Know that from now on you are one with all
Try and know
Let down your walls
Let yoursel fall
Far far down
Let yourself fall
The infrastructure you build has no foundation on which to call
It's all intent on more
It's all intent on more
It's your call

An Incomplete Life

12 October 2008

Robert Rabinovitz
October 12, 2008

An somewhat incomplete life
A somewhat completely complicated and incomplete life

A typical suburban jew that tries to follow the good life
Calm before the storm

When will you begin
I'm waiting till next one
I'm waiting for the next life to do it right

Its not if you win
its how you play the game

How I played the game

Lost In The Complexities

15 October 2008

Lost in the complexities of
Facing adulthood
Lost in the complexities of growing up

Im way to old to grow up.

Had enough of the is stuff

Lost complex.
Complexities Saugerties
Jelly beans.

Maltice Kentucky fries

Iv e tried and im tired

Slow to dance to the asile

Toward a different smile

Tell me a different story in a while

May be ill listen.

You Feel You Dream

22 October 2008

2:17 am

wednesday

you feel

you dream
you live inside specific themes

you try and make sense of things
you know a bit about themes
you know a bit about scenes

and specific feelings

you see and feel the people around you

your antenna is up and forseeing

whats real
your energy is true to your
surroundings

you feel
you dream

you live inside specific themes
you try and make sense of things

you feel you dream

you live inside specific themes

you try and make sense of things

this may not seem so tough

but for me it is.

END

You Feel

22 October 2008

2:17 am

wednesday

you feel

you dream
you live inside specific themes

you try and make sense of things
you know a bit about themes
you know a bit about scenes

and specific feelings

you see and feel the people around you

your antenna is up and forseeing

whats real
your energy is true to your
surroundings

you feel
you dream

you live inside specific themes
you try and make sense of things

you feel you dream

you live inside specific themes

you try and make sense of things

this may not seem so tough

but for me it is.

END

Beginning To Put The Pieces Together

22 October 2008

sunset on wall?

beginning to put the pieces
together

the parts of a story that
never seemed clear

the parts of a story that

always was near

but away and full of tears

beginning to assemble the parts

to make some more art

These Are The Days

22 October 2008

These are the days I have

Only dreamed of

To live in such a time

To live and to feel divine

To live and see life unwind

To say I know more

To say I know less

To live unless I know more

Is to try and know some of

The score

When We Start

22 October 2008

when we start and when we end

when we start its just the end

start to begin the end

you breathe in and exhale out

you begin and end

you.

Time Waits For You

25 October 2008

6:03 pm

Monday night additions

Time waits for you but passed me by
Time waits for you but passed me by

Time passed me by
Time passed

I Miss The Hospital

25 October 2008

11:14 am

back from appt with Virginia
I miss the hospital

I miss the beds, the nurses, the doctors the sleep

I miss the sleeping
I miss the sleeping

The quiet most of the time

Time Waits For You In A Different Way

25 October 2008

Time waits for you in a different way

Not today

Nor tomorrow Nor tomorrow

Time waits

In a different way In a different way

Time waits and we do not

Stop Srop

Time Not today

Not today

Don’t worry bout me I got one
Don’t worry bout the law ive
Had one

Don’t worry bout the time
Ive been there

Don't worry about the floor been on one
Don’t worry bout the time

I left one

Don’t worry bout the girl

Had one
Don’t worry bout the side
Passed one

Make A Wish

26 October 2008

10:08 pm

1. world series game 4 6-2 phils- 10:08 pm
10-26-08 Sunday nt.

1. make a wish

make a wish lift your face smile inside

hide your lies

cover your pride

simplify your eyes.

Let it seep inside.

Make a wish

Lift your face smile inside

Hide your lies

You Might Not Live As Long As You Can

26 October 2008

10:33 pm

2. 10-26-08: 10:33pm sun nt

you might not live as

long as you can
you might not live as long
as you have
you might not live.

Long as can be
Long as can be

You or me
You or me

Long as can be
Long as can be.

You might not live as long as
You have
You have
You have

Tonight I'm A Man

26 October 2008

3. eve of anniv of my 1973 bar mitzvah
tonight 1973-2008 35 years

tonight. – I’m a man 35 years later
im a man for as long as I can
im a man been long as I can

I so memorized my lines
I so never knew how to read
Hebrew
Just memorized phonetically my lines

Made it sound good

Like I should

What Were The Other Ones Like Then

27 October 2008

12:12 pm

12:12 Monday after eeg anniversary of my bar mitzvah

what were the other ones like then
could you try and not carry

what were the others like

what were the other kind

could you try and give yourself time

to walk a little further

could you try
could you try

and give yourself time

to walk a little further

away you go

away you are

and not so far

from all of us
from all of us

pace your little feet upon the next parade
pace your street dreams and place them in your pocket

for anhther day

when you can get somewhere else that you dream of

when you can get somewhere else you dream of

that is not here or hear

The Freaks That I AM

31 October 2008

8:25 pm

4. 10-31-08 : 8:25 pm
Halloween night @ nYC

The freaks that I am
The freaks that I am
The freaks in the streets

The screams laughter
Silence your mind

While you are away

From home

But im home tonight
But Christ give me strength
But god give me strength
But let me believe in you and me and we.

The Line

31 October 2008

The line that takes you there
The line that take you there
The line that you follow
The line that follows you
The lines that you follow
The signs that you follow
The signs that follow you

Stay With Me

04 November 2008

4:16 am

election day today 11-4-08
4:16am

5.
cannot sleep
stay @ neighborhood . stay near school
stay @ NYC
stay

stay in my neighborhood
stay

stay near school
stay in NYC

stay with me
stay with me

And When Was It

14 November 2008

3:24 am

7. 11-14-08: 3:24 am – up + cant sleep

and when was it I began to live
and when is tit that I begin again
and when does freedom ring
and when does the bell toll
and when does the bell toll.
And when does the day begin
And when does the day begin
And when do I breathe
And when do I stop.
And did I ever stop
And did I begin.

And when did the day begin
For you
And when does the day begin for you
And when do you

And so we shall begin to express
The expression of you
Shall be what you will be.

Childhood

14 November 2008

10.
child hood child hood
mis understood understood in childhood
as a child. In the hood

I Was Born

14 November 2008

8.
I was born. I am alive I
Studied I live I cry I will die
I trust I fall I die over and over
Again

I breathe
I exhale
I study I try I live I die
I cry I trust I fall I sing
I prey I fall over + over
Again.

The Outhouse

14 November 2008

9.
The Outhouse

the breath
the left
the race

the cry
the soap
the lift
the play
the tide
the wind
the home
the brother
that gave me hope

the tender
the light
the pause in
the night.

the still
the memory
the thought

that holds me

the smile

I share with you.

the raising of
my lips
to the light of day.

Lars

19 November 2008

6:35 am

*22. 11/19/08 6:35 am

the gift of poetry

write 1 for each person I encounter

Lars- write date draw on Recycled postcards sign + mail it*

1.
Lars

Its you
Wide open
Misty bright
Tall + all funny
Kind all
Friend. More than words
Time and kind.
Gifted giving hope
Land on dreams
The dream is alive
To keep to create
Connect + craw a line
To build + touch the earth
Back to us
To smile + listen
To love like we do
To be there for me +
You

Thank you Lars,
Your friend,
Robert

To Mom

19 November 2008

23.
To mom,

Kind. You like me
Safe + true
Hurt but strong
Allow me too
Join in the band take
Time for us
Laugh + cry
Its cool to do
A touchstone or two
When lost at the zoo

And Your Boat Seems To Float

22 November 2008

6:37 am

11.

And your boat seems to float
Most of the time.

And you row.
Sometimes but mostly.
Just sit + look
And your boat seems To float
Most of the time
You just sit + watch
While the water
Rolls by.

Then the waters like glass.
Pure + flat + the waters
Like glass- sometimes
And your muscles are weak

But your arms sometimes strong
Cant seem to walk or row
Cause your feet stand still.
Want things to come but seem
To wait on your
Ass.

Row you will but half
Of you will.
And it’s half of you still
That seems to
Fit the bill.

And half move. inside
The other for the ride.

And half of the time you
Shine

And half of you are horse +
The other + half clown
And half of the time-
Philosophy- on your mind

Deep inside
And the pain that you feel
Is mostly in your head
From surgery. Or just
The way you lie in bed

So sink or swim or
Sit + row
Or watch the river flow

Or stop + let the flow
Take you there where
All well be well + you wont
Tire so much.

So this we decide today.
and so it is so.

But wait for tomorrow
Is another tale- unto itself-
For some things seem easy
But not for you
It’s true.

So lets not talk of
What is + only.
Where we are today.
Always a step away from

Something else to say.

END

Very Much Like The Next One

27 November 2008

1:23 am

11/27/08 grandcentral to beacon wi lars and peter to see larua and chris
thanksgiving day

12.

maybe get arrested at a diner @ alices resturant
on the way to thanksgiving dinner.

Very much like the next one.
On time for the train.
Left to your time on time take
It over to you + leave it
There
There you are there it is. On the way
To diner @ alice. Looking for a
Restaurant
Look around + find yourself inside
Another time a decade behind
Maybe more.
Look inside maybe you will find
The place you once left is just inside
Your mind.

Maybe you will find the plant you water
Today is dry and the place it goes
Is deep below

And the water you drink on the train
Is what your plant needs today
Just like you
And maybe the winter that it is suppose
To be today is just a glimpse of
Tomorrows- spring on
The rise
And maybe the way in which I write
Is different from the way in which I did
Before and maybe its because
I adore you

And maybe its left to another time
And maybe its just what you thought
And maybe the law in which you believe
We are under
Is just another government plan that
Needs bailing out
And maybe the lost white boy that you once
Were is on the mend.

And maybe the goals you had in 1984
Were quite different since you don’t remember
Them. So well.

And maybe its time to reflect
To a time you took away

And maybe what you thought of land
And what you thought of love
Were the same thing

And maybe what you thought was
Simple is just a wave away from
The laughter you once spoke
And the dream that comes from
The river is always moving.

And the arrangement that held you so
High is just in time for the alter boy
And the stage you play is
An alter for your ego.

And the bully + the bridge + the
Tables that have turned
And the ship that once was docked
Is a drift
And the temple of the gods
That hold you in tune.

Are taking a break for thanksgiving afternoon

And the girl in front of me is
Always reminding me of what I can be.

And the temperature you keep
Is justified by the quality of
Your street
And the ways + the means-
Have a committee

And the treasure of what is
Stolen is brought back to you in-
Time

And their gifts you once had are a gift
Of laws untold.

And the fellow you most dislike is
Sometimes more honest than you can
Ever be.

And the mink you stole.
Is just like the gaze you hold
On trucks + dolls that make up wind.
A round table talk
Around the clock is sometimes left
For those less critical of
The pace of your watch.

And the teacher you once had still
Lives in the chair she sat
Her mini skirt.
Still in bright orange + her
Thick thighs didn’t seem to bother
You then but will now.

And the train you ride .
Will hold your attention +
The passenger you fly with
Is just another guy

That is tripping by.

And the ladies that watch
Are waiting for you

And the freckly that you wear is
Possible to be stolen.

And the lamp that burns.
Is brighter than you

And the letter you hold has been dropped
From the verb.

And the table that turned
Ahs been sat upon

And the ways yo breathe have
Always left you a drift

A breeze is where it’s at
And the sign you wore is
Around your head
Like a bat + a ball that
String you along

And its like you to do this again
To let yourself go +
To go home

And the way you draw is less than
Tall.

And the stranger one is always more
Fun

And the age you hold is dropping fast
And the plans you told
Just walked away.

And the letter in your mind
Its been written before
And the meaning is much deeper inside
You store.

And the shop is closed for the holiday
Today.

And the beach is bright like a star at
Night
And the girl you knew is still in you
And the love you feel is

Alive + well.

And the last time you cried it
Felt like hell.

And the move you wrote was so easy
And the book you stole

Season of witches that
Hold your bat

And swing at nothing or
You think so

But always something that is hard to
Hold.

And sigh now for ever hold your peace
And drop the sarcasm

For it holds a key

And the symphony you play
Its on its way

And the temple inside is just as
Wide.

And the lies you tell are just as well
For you + me

To live with today

And the listening you tell. Is
Just as well a thought that marks
Our time

And simple as this may sound.

Its much harder inside
So don’t go there- just
Go + hide but
You will or not I know
And yo can now listen to what
Has been told.

So listen + you will know
So listen + be told

And watch your smells
And listen to your nose
And see your hearing
And touch your sight
And smell your fingers that
Make it real.

sometimes not so near

Deep

27 November 2008

20.

DEEP
Drop lift
A line.
Play a sign
With me- let it drop.
Dip drop
Stew
Dip drop

Tick toc
Deep
Drop lift
A line or two.
Drop or lift
A drip
Weigh a time
And measure a drop

Gentle

27 November 2008

18.
Gentle
Time gentle ben.
A ride down the river

I Will Hold You Still

27 November 2008

16.
I will hold you still

I will let go
I let
I go
I still

I will
I did not
do what I was told
so you
do not do anything
until your old

Enough

I will hold
you still

I will let go

I will not hold
so tight

I will let go
I will let go

I will stay still
I will try

I will not go
I will let you know

I've been told
that I'm getting old

I will hold still

So Let The Waters Be

27 November 2008

so let the waters be
and the breath in you will breathe in me

and notes to self are quarrelling in me
and dreams that once

seal in time

and thoughts like that are for you hold.
(could be TO HOLD?)

Song

27 November 2008

19.
song a sign
of life.
Song sing open fire.
Open time to send a sign
A sign or two
A sign of time
A sign or you or me
A sign of this time

What time is it that you
Play

Song a sign
Sing a sign
Sing a word or two
Sing a song a word or two
Tell me a song or two
Tell me a word or two.

Signs that sing
Signs that tell

Signs that tell a joke
Or two

About you